3 Little Words
by charrybarry
Summary: A classic Hikaru/ Kaoru angst one shot. Sorta like my training wheel fic before I can make some DECENT serious lemons. XD I think the warnings are pretty evident from this summary. Enjoy!


**Disclaimer:** *sigh* I don't own Ouran

GACK! My first angst fic, I am taking a big step, for me at least. ^_^ Go easy on me! If you do you get virtual cookies! :D

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_Why? _Was the only question on Kaoru's mind in that moment. _Why? _He didn't know if it was just him, or if this was truly not normal. He was pretty sure it was the second one though. I mean, people just didn't go falling in love with their family every day. Identical twins no less, did they? But he did. After months of denial he finally accepted that he was deeply in love with his brother, Hikaru Hitachiin. _But why? _His best guess was the stupid act for the host club they had done every day. It couldn't have happened overnight right? No, it was a slow but well working process that made his feelings come to this. And Kaoru didn't have a clue what to do.

They were putting on another act again, tricking their obsessed fan girls into thinking their real relationship was much deeper than two close brothers. It had been pulled off so flawlessly, for so long, that the younger Hitachiin actually started to believe it, and how he felt towards Hikaru started changing. He was in Hikaru's arms, staring up into the identical golden orbs which belonged to the elder. Scared, worried, but Hikaru thought it was just part of the act, and not what his younger twin was truly feeling at that moment. Scared, worried… of rejection. Terrified actually, of losing his other half, the only person he ever really talked to for the first 14 years of his life. And the only person that he truly trusted… until now that is. No, he couldn't trust anybody these days, not with his biggest secret. The ultimate taboo. Homosexual… Incest… Narcissism. A triple threat.

"Kaoru… I'm so sorry, is it something I did?" The familiar voice snatched him out of his reverie. Kaoru's eyes widened slightly as he stared harder at Hikaru. Their eyes boring into each others.

"No," He said, barely audible. "I'm fine… I just haven't been able to get very much sleep lately."

It was then Hikaru shined his famous smirk, the one that whenever he saw it, gave Kaoru a small involuntary shiver shooting through his spine. "I must be the cause of that though, no? Or us. And our… activities." He whispered seductively, pressing his lips lightly to the corner of Kaoru's jaw. The younger's breath hitched in his throat.

The fan girls swooned, and Kaoru had to bite his tongue to keep from glaring daggers at them. Because it reminded him that they were the only reason his brother was doing this. Merely for their own shallow entertainment. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Haruhi smile and shake her head at the twins. Kaoru swallowed. If he truly loved his brother as much as he believed, his ultimate happiness, must be Hikaru's ultimate happiness. And that obviously could not be with him, but with Haruhi. Of course Kaoru wasn't stupid. He'd seen the admiring looks Hikaru secretly sent her when he thought no one was looking. But whenever he did catch his brother, he felt something churn in the middle of his stomach that made him feel sick. Jealousy he figured, although then when he thought that it only made him feel more sick at his own twisted thoughts and feelings.

Another hour and the day was done. The reluctant girls sadly made their leave, and the seven members were left alone in the giant, pink, music room.

"Hey Hikaru," Kaoru said standing up and stretching his arms, Hikaru looked up at him with his wide, cat like eyes. "I'm going to go home early kay? You can hang out with Haruhi or the boss." Before he had a chance to flee, and hand grasped his wrist. He turned around to see Hikaru standing up from the couch as well.

"No need. I'll come with you." He replied, Kaoru sighed.

"Oh you don't have to Hikaru, wouldn't you rather stay here?" Hikaru only chuckled and slung an arm around his brother's shoulders.

"Idiot. What're you talking about? I'd take you over all these morons, any day." He reassured messing with his twin's hair. Kaoru smiled, but it felt bittersweet to the younger of the two. Yes, it felt great to know that Hikaru still loved him more than anyone else at the time being. But he knew it couldn't last, and the longer it stayed like this the harder it would sting when Hikaru did leave him. But for now Kaoru could not force Hikaru to stay there and they left without another word.

Two innocent twin brothers walking down the hall without a care in the world. This would be the image seen to anyone who saw the Hitachiin brothers walking down the halls of the academy that day. But inside the twins minds were nothing but care free. One was basically in inner turmoil, while the other although Kaoru didn't know it, was actually beginning to catch on. Hikaru spotted an open doorway to a classroom, and without another thought, suddenly shoved Kaoru inside then followed him quickly shutting the door behind them.

"What the hell Hikaru?!" Kaoru yelled, glaring at his twin in confusion.

"What's been going on with you Kaoru?" Hikaru bluntly asked, the younger Hitachiin's eyes shot wide.

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been acting so strange lately. What's happening to you? And why aren't you telling me?" The elder twin demanded.

"N-nothing! You have the wrong idea."

"Bullshit. Just tell me!"

"You know what? Forget it! If you were just afraid of hurting my feelings by wanting to be with Haruhi more than me, you really don't have to worry. I'm fine with it." Hikaru arched an eyebrow at this remark.

"What does Haruhi have to do with any of this?!"

"You love her, don't you? You're in love with her aren't you? You can tell me." Hikaru rubbed his temples in frustration.

"Kaoru, you're not making any sense. Is this why you've been acting so strangely? Because you think _I'm in love _with Haruhi?"

Kaoru bit his lip and muttered. "I just want you to be happy, Hikaru."

Hikaru sighed and sat on top of one of the desks. "I swear Kaoru, it's almost as if…" Hikaru trailed off, and Kaoru just stared at him, his heart thumping loudly in his chest.

"As if what?" Kaoru whispered, he was surprised that Hikaru even heard him.

"Never mind."

"No. What were you going to say?" Kaoru urged.

"I'm not going to say it."

"Just say it!"

"Why don't you say it?"

"But, why wont you say it?"

"Because I want you to say it!"

"I'm in love with you alright!" Kaoru cried, putting his face in his hands. Hikaru could've sworn he felt his heart stop for a moment there.

"What?" He breathed.

"God damn it, you heard me Hikaru." Kaoru mumbled into his hands. Hikaru stayed frozen like that for a split second before enveloping his brother in an embrace. Kaoru went stiff in his arms, refusing to look up at him. And suddenly he felt something boil up inside his body like a forest fire, something that felt a lot like… Anger. And it willed him to do something he had never dreamed of doing to his brother until that very moment.

He hit him.

Punched him as a matter of fact. Right across the face, his brother cried out in pain and clutched his cheek, staggering back into the desk he had sat on only a few seconds before. Kaoru didn't even stay there long enough to look at the damage he had done to him, before he was bolting from the room and trying to find the exit to the school. _How dare he?! _Kaoru demanded his mind to figure out, but nothing was fitting. What had willed Hikaru to do something as cruel as to hug his brother after his painful confession was out of his mind. Had Hikaru not realized how hard it had been for him in every single act at the host club they did? Apparently not. His entire face was damp when he reached the parking lot, and he frantically got into his family's limo and drove off, ignoring the worried glances the driver sent him.

Once he was home he ran inside also ignoring the concerned remarks maids and butlers gave him. He went to the kitchen quickly grabbed what he was looking for, and ran upstairs to his room before anybody could see the knife he held hidden in his coat. He got to his room quickly and shut the door, taking the knife out he stripped himself of his blazer and white shirt, leaving him bare chested before running to the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

He looked at himself in the mirror. His face was tear streaked, and his eyes were red and puffy. His hair was a little ruffled from the running he had done, and his arms were shaking. Hikaru, was still yet the only thing on his mind. He tried to push him to the back of his head as he grabbed the knife again. He thought that before he slit his wrists he should see how much pressure should be put on his skin. He raised the sharp metal to his upper forearm and pressed. Harder, harder, harder. Finally he felt the skin break and he ran the knife a little more down his arm towards his elbow. He bit his lip hard to keep from making noise that would bring about flustered maids checking up on him. The red liquid trickled down his arm and dripped onto the floor. That alone making him feel slightly light headed. But now it was time for the real deal. Kaoru raised the knife, and held his wrist out, as he willed the knife to cascade downwards toward the outstretched appendage, again that one name was the only thing bouncing through his skull. And more tears streamed down his face.

_Hikaru._

_Hikaru._

_Hikaru._

Suddenly the door crashed open with a bang and Hikaru stood in the way. His upper lip was a bit redder than the rest of the skin on his face, and the youngest figured it was probably from a bloody nose that he most likely gave him with the punch earlier. But that was the last thing from Hikaru's mind at the moment, as he stared at his only brother with a bloody arm and a blood stained knife held in his other hand.

"Kaoru."

"Hikaru." In two steps Hikaru made it to his brother and snatched the knife from his hand, putting it in a nearby drawer where it would do no harm. He then quickly took a towel and put cold water over it, then wrapping it around Kaoru's wound. The contact made Kaoru inhale sharply, and fresh tears bud.

"Shhh its okay." Hikaru soothed, finding the medicine cabinet in a flash and wrapping a large bandage around the cut. "Kaoru, what the hell did you do?" Hikaru asked, once he was done taking care of his brother. Kaoru bit his lip again, though this time not from pain.

"I… I don't know, Hikaru." He mumbled, "Thank you." he finished and made his way out of the bathroom.

Again he was stopped by a hand grasping itself around his wrist, stopping him. Hikaru stood up, bringing Kaoru into his arms once again, stroking his orange hair. "I'm so sorry." He murmured.

"Hikaru, let go of me." Kaoru begged struggling to get free. He finally broke out of his brother's grip and ran towards the door, only to see that Hikaru had closed and locked it behind him when he entered earlier, slowing him down enough for Hikaru to catch up to him and pin him to the wall. Before he could protest anymore he was cut off by a rough pair of lips muffling any sounds that came from Kaoru's throat. Kaoru gasped in surprise, and was just about to kiss back when Hikaru pulled away without giving him a chance.

"Kaoru, you really need to let people speak before you go jumping to conclusions." Hikaru said with a small smile, leaning in again. This time Kaoru met him half way, and kissed back. Kaoru quickly noticed the faint taste of blood on his twin's upper lip.

He whimpered a, "Sorry." against the elder's lips before Hikaru's tongue snuck past his own. Drawing out a moan of longing from the youngest. The arms Kaoru latched around Hikaru's neck tightened. Their tongues tangled and twirled together, both loving this new level of closeness they seemed to have reached. Thoughts of how wrong society viewed this were all shoved out of the way and all either of them thought of was the other. Hikaru moaned, and Kaoru opened his eyes, not seen by his twin. For some strange reason, Kaoru felt a humungous urge mix inside him to make the oldest brother make those sounds again. He dropped his arms from Hikaru's neck, and at first Hikaru whimpered, and brought Kaoru closer by grabbing him tighter around his waist, which Kaoru didn't have a problem with of course. While continuing to kiss him the youngest quickly slid his hands up his brother's shirt, running the tips of his fingers over Hikaru's abs and chest. He heard it again; Hikaru moaned.

"Kaoru… I'm getting impatient." Hikaru whispered. The only response he got from Kaoru was a smirk, and slight nod. He latched his mouth onto Kaoru's neck and bit and sucked. Kaoru loved this contact and gave a soft moan, slowly starting to grind himself against Hikaru. His brother was surprised by this new bold move and threw his head back with a low groan, also doing the same motion.

"Hikaru…" Kaoru sighed, his elder brother stopped hearing this, and he whimpered softly.

"What is it?" Hikaru asked, brushing some hair away from his face.

"I love you so much." Kaoru said, just to get even more of the point across. Hikaru smiled warmly and took Kaoru's bottom lip into his mouth.

He murmured, "I love you more." against his lip and moved his lips down to Kaoru's collarbone. Starting up the grinding motion again. Soon Hikaru shrugged off his blue school blazer, and Kaoru noticed. He immediately started working on removing his twin's tie as Hikaru's hot mouth moved lower. He started licking and sucking on one of Kaoru's nipples when his younger brother had finally gotten the tie loose and frantically starting undoing the buttons of Hikaru's white shirt.

He moaned when Hikaru gave an especially hard suck. "Where… where did you learn this?" He gasped the question. Hikaru stopped getting yet another whimper from his twin, and raised his head to face him with a smirk.

"Hmm… must be a gift." He whispered seductively. After this he dipped his head father down and got on his knees, now kissing just above his brother's waist line. Kaoru started panting as Hikaru chewed on the curve of his hip and fingered the band of his black pants, one of the fingers sliding inside just to touch the elastic of his boxers.

"Nngg… Please Hikaru, no more teasing." Kaoru breathed. But Hikaru seemed to not have heard him- either that or he was just feeling cruel- because it was a good minute and a half more of torture before the eldest finally starting unbuttoning the bottom of his brother's school uniform. He was only trying to keep up his role as the older, more dominant twin by acting as confident as he looked, but really Hikaru could have sworn there was no possible way that Kaoru could be harder than him at the moment.

Kaoru's pants were now around his ankles and Kaoru finished it off by kicking them across the room, and suddenly kneeling down with his brother, to attack his lips. Hikaru moaned in surprise but returned the kiss none the less. He fell on his back against the hardwood floor. The white shirt that was just barely hanging from Hikaru's shoulders was ripped all the way off, and now both brothers were bare chested, pressed up against each other in their room. The younger started clawing at the other's pants, and in a matter of seconds, his brother was in only boxers as well.

After seeing this desperate act, Hikaru rolled over and kissed his twin deeply. He ran his hands softly, and slowly down Kaoru's sides. And soon he felt the pads of his fingers hit fabric. He fondled the only piece of clothing his other half had left for a moment, before sliding them off, hearing Kaoru sigh in contentment.

"Kaoru," Hikaru breathed, sliding off his own underwear. Kaoru looked up at him with half-lidded eyes filled to the brink with desire. "I need you."

Without another word, he slid down his twin's body to take his hard member into his mouth. Kaoru threw his head back, hitting the floor. His eyes were clenched shut, and his lip was close to bleeding from him biting it, trying to hold back as much noise as possible. But when the older brother's teeth grazed the tip, he gave up the attempt all together.

"Oh my god, Hikaru." Kaoru moaned.

Hikaru smirked around his brother's length after hearing this and sucked even harder. Bobbing his head up and down in the process. Kaoru just became even more hard, and eventually some pre-cum started seeping out of the slit. Not that Hikaru minded. But just before Kaoru felt he couldn't take it anymore, Hikaru sat up.

Kaoru whimpered. "Hikaru." He whined, but then when he paid a little more attention, he saw what Hikaru was really doing. "Hikaru, what're you doing?" He asked, even though he had a pretty good idea.

Hikaru took the fingers out of his mouth and went searching for his own entrance. "I told you Kaoru… I need you." He said, and squirmed slightly when he put his first finger in.

"B-But…" Kaoru said, but trailed off. Hikaru had put a second finger in, and he winced. "I don't want to hurt you Hikaru."

From this remark, the elder paused just before he was going to enter the third and final digit. "You could never hurt me as much as I hurt you, Kaoru." Kaoru looked up at him in confusion.

"What're you-" He stopped himself, seeing Hikaru stare at the bandage that was still on his arm. "That wasn't you hurting me Hikaru. I hurt myself."

Hikaru grimaced slightly. "But I was the cause of you hurting yourself." He entered the third finger discreetly. While doing this, he leaned down to kiss Kaoru's lips lightly. "Let me take the pain away." He whispered, and his brother would've replied, if he hadn't felt Hikaru's tight muscles suddenly take him in.

Hikaru hunched forward even more, his bangs hiding his clenched shut eyes. The only thing soothing the pain was hearing his twin's sounds of absolute pleasure from the bold move he had just done.

"Ah, god… Hikaru…" Kaoru gasped out, then choosing to look at the boy who's name he was moaning. "Hikaru? Are you okay?" He forgot what he was feeling at the moment, seeing faintly Hikaru's wince from behind his hair.

But Hikaru nodded, and Kaoru scowled at this denial. "No, Hikaru, if you're hurting I want you to stop." Hikaru didn't budge, and Kaoru's scowl became more pronounced. "Hikaru did you hear what I-"

He never got the chance to complete his thought, before his brother started moving up and down, riding him. So all that Kaoru's sentence ended with was a loud moan. And even though the pain was still dominant in Hikaru's body, the pleasure was starting to make an appearance. And soon overtook it, so that he wanted _more. _

"Kaoru." Hikaru moaned, and despite the racking pleasure, Kaoru was able to handle his thoughts well enough to be happy that his brother wasn't in pain anymore. And this thought compelled Kaoru to thrust his hips up into his brother, rough and fast. Desperate for more friction.

This contact made Hikaru shriek out in shock. His prostate being rubbed from that very movement. "Kaoru… more… I need more." He begged. The younger obliged by sitting up and wrapping his arms around Hikaru's waist, helping him with his thrusts. Hikaru bit and sucked on the corner of Kaoru's jaw in an attempt to muffle his moans. The new situation made Kaoru's member able to go in further, and Kaoru moaned in Hikaru's ear, turning them both on further.

Just when Hikaru thought he couldn't take it anymore, he felt his twin's hand start to stroke him fast, although the touches were still light. "Ah! Kaoru…" Hikaru panted, he needed this moment to last as long as possible. But when he felt Kaoru pump him even rougher than he had originally started, along with him hearing his name murmured repeatedly in bliss. He really couldn't take it any more, and came crying out Kaoru's name.

Kaoru's eyes widened farther than he ever thought they could go, and gasped loudly. Feeling the warm liquid cover his chest and part of his legs was one thing. But the muscled clenching unbearably tight around his erect muscle sent him diving over the edge. "Hikaru!" He cried into his twin's neck as he came violently into his brother.

After the intense waves of pleasure were over for both of them, Kaoru laid back down on the floor, his arms still tightly around his brother, not bothering to pull himself out of him. Neither spoke for awhile. Each of them content with being pressed against one another, hearing each other's soft and still slightly heavy breathing.

Finally Kaoru spoke, so soft even Hikaru could just barely make out the words, despite his closeness. "No more pain."

Hikaru smiled hearing this, and stroked the bandage that was practically forgotten on his twin's arm. "Never again."

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**Author's note:** =_= I don't know if this is any good or if it truly sucks. Its my first angst… and to me it seems kind of safe. But a lot of people do stuff like this don't they?

But I'll bet you weren't expecting Kaoru to be seme were you? Heh heh heh, yeah neither was I, it just sorta came to me in the heat of the moment. I wanted there to be some sort of twist, so it wasn't COMPLETELY predictable. XD


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